Ralph Breaks The Internet
[Video Narration:]
[In a hushed voice:] “Here comes the good part. [Louder, and with more enthusiasm:] ‘My son Jake, who’s 25, eats mayo. He’s a practical young man who works in computers and adores macaroni salad. He’s a good son. [With a more angry tone:] I also have a daughter. She was a women’s and gender studies [starts to laugh] major in college.’ [Laughing harder now with each word:] ‘Naturally, she loathes mayonnaise!’”
[Laughter that gets louder and more ridiculous:] [Wheezing] “Yes, the most well known side affect of feminism. [Laughs even more, with slight wheezing] [Hard to understand here:] If you take gender studies- I warned you children, you will stop enjoying mayonnaise! [Laughs more] [While laughing:] Oh, why is this so fucking funny?? [Continues laughing] Oh- I can’t- I cannot fucking deal with this- ‘She was a women’s and gender studies major in college, so [shouting] NATURALLY- [Starts to laugh again] she loathes mayonnaise.’” [Loses it again]
“NATURALLY- [Wheezing uncontrollably] Oh my God, help! [Laughs more] [Coughs a bit] [Continues laughing] Ugh! [Exhales] “Fuu- [unintelligible] face- oh God. [Chuckles] Ohhhh- this shouldn’t be so funny. [Coughs and laughs] I don’t know why this is so funny. [Laughs more quietly and calms down] “’And she’s not alone. Ask the young people you know their opinion of mayo and you’ll be SHOCKED by the depths- [Starts wheezing and laughing loudly, again] of their emotion- [Laugh] Oh, there’s the occasional outlier, like Jake’- my wonderful son whom I love unlike my terrible [starts chuckling] daughter who took gender studies and hates mayonnaise- aaah. [Laughs] ‘But for the most part, today’s youth would sooner get their news from an actual newspaper… than ingest mayo-’ [Wheezes] what the fuck does that mean??” [Continues wheezing and laughing, and then the video ends]
I can’t believe they oblitered straight men like that
hahahaha, I’ve never been so proud
it scares me how accurate jack got mark’s laugh
@therealjacksepticeye
@markiplier
explain this sorcery
Master of impressions!
A delicious fuck-ton of human ethnicity/diversity drawing references. [From various sources.]
Sources:
- Unique Features Tutorial: Pt 2 by jeinu
- Unique Features Tutorial: Pt 3 by jeinu
- Guide to Human Types part 1 by Majnouna
- Guide to Human Types part 2 by Majnouna
- Guide to Human Types part 3 by Majnouna
- Catalog to Human Features by Majnouna
- Skin Tone Tutorial Page 1 by ChiCha-Tutorials
- Ear Tutorial Resource by ConceptCookie
- Lip Tutorial Resource by ConceptCookie
- Nose Tutorial Resource by ConceptCookie
I can’t sleep and it’s 2am so here’s some random totally unsourced shit i often tell ppl:
- you don’t need to go and pay money for a health physician or a doctor in order to obtain a wrist brace for your hurting drawing hand. If you can pinpoint where it hurts and how it hurts (ache/sting/tingling/numbness), you can check guides online or go to a store that sells braces and ask the staff directly.
- wear the brace when you sleep and rest.
- don’t overstretch. I repeat DONT OVERSTRETCH.
If you can lick your elbow and do other flexible party tricks, you should AVOID stretching.
- if you ever get the chance, get a height-adjustable desk so u can stand while drawing.
- if it’s impossible to wake you up in the morning despite having a rly loud alarm, get an alarm clock designed for deaf ppl. You place it under your mattress or pillow and it’ll shake you awake.
- a pouch of lavender in your drawer keeps bugs away from your clothes.
- if you have used the same pillows the last five years, buy new ones. Like holy shit I sleep like a log after I bought new ones.
- avoid consuming melatonin unless your doctor prescribed you it.
- warm milk or warm chocolate milk helps get you drowsy before bedtime.
- there’s earbuds made of wax that are great for blocking out sounds.
- don’t eat silver. Tin-man-syndrome is an actual thing, tho youd have to eat silver leafs daily in order to get that. But don’t eat silver it oxidize inside your body that ain’t good.
- there is absolutely no health benefit from consuming gold. It just pass through your body and makes that one dish more expensive to eat.
- there is no official study (as in its not sponsored by a product) that says you have to chug a gallon of water every day. Drink when you’re thirsty. That’s like how you know you need water.
- if a new trendy lifestyle or diet etc requires you to buy a product it’s p much 100% capitalist bullshit. (Looking at you aloe Vera and paleo)
- ball point pens are only good for doodling imo. Get a refillable pen instead of buying disposable bics that will just become plastic waste later.
- Swedish fish candy is bigger and comes in more flavors here than in the US.
- get a shopping bag made of fabric that you can reuse.
- use Schampoo on your roots and conditioner along the tips of your hair. Rinse with slightly cold or lukewarm water.
- cats and dogs are good and we never deserved them. But here they are.
- I strongly encourage adopting a cat/dog that are a mix breed over buying an expensive “purebreed”.